Wellbeing and non- separateness
Samadhi, the eighth limb of Yoga. In Sanskrit the word means: total self- connectedness
The inner dialogue we have with ourselves is the foundation of our wellbeing. Doing anything, even if it’s ‘healthy AF’ can still be a punishment on the inside. The force of the mind, doing ‘the right’ things vs doing what actually feels right- then wondering why we don’t see or feel any changes in our body?
This is the prison. The box you think you’re breaking out of, only masked by a new box in the form of the latest health trend or ‘cure’. Are we really changing our internal landscape?
Should we be putting all of our effort in the external when we need to change the gears of the internal? Maybe that means slowing down, rushing less, making more space in your life to tend to your spirit, sitting in the discomfort and closing your eyes when you notice yourself plunging into excessive distraction like eating, social media, or more caffeine.
As long as we remain prisoners of our inner dialogue, we remain the victim of our circumstances, and a victim loves to pass the blame. Passing the blame to something like gluten, or dissociative talk towards your body like ‘it’s my nervous system’ is not freedom; it’s separateness.
This concept is evident in how much we outsource our health, but also in our beliefs. How we have so much power in ‘knowing’ so much, through podcasts and books, whilst spending the least time getting to know our selves. How we think in black and white, how we call ourselves atheists, how we have little faith in what we can’t see, how we only move through decisions based off science, relying on answers that don’t involve actioning or embodying this knowledge, just staying separate from what we know not how we feel.
Such an overlooked barrier between the stress response (sympathetic) and the rest and digest response (parasympathetic), is the mind. Not learning how to manage our own stress, is a product of the mind. Not accepting that its our stress (real or imagined) causing a plethora of health issues, another product of the mind.
I have only become truly accountable through non- separateness. I have learnt that all the different aspects of health really are challenging or hard, when I see them as seperate from each other. Once I surrendered to these realities and lifted the vail of separateness, I could see that I was causing my own pain.
This pain still shows up for me, when I notice that I’m all too ‘heady’ (stuck in my thoughts) or all too ‘heavy’ (stuck in my emotions)- there is an emptiness.
Not only do I see these imbalances as spectrums, I also see this emptiness as gaps. There is only emptiness because there are gaps separating my mind from my body, my body from my spirit, my muscle pain from my emotions, my stress from my headaches, my coffee intake from my racing thoughts, the list goes on.
It’s a never ending practice to dissolve the gaps. But I’m realising with age and experience that it’s perhaps the most important endeavour in life. Because a gap in ourselves is like a broken seal in the bathroom tiles of the shower. Water gets in, and if it’s left unattended, moisture sits, and mould forms. Mould grows simply because the moist environment allows it. It doesn’t know any other way to be than toxic. Chronic mould affects not only the immediate environment it comes into contact with, but the surrounding environment too.
When pain is in muscles I think, “this is good, I can work with this, we can do something about this, there is sensation felt here”. I often wonder what happens when the pain is left unattended, where that toxicity goes. I believe it goes deeper.
LJ
This was deep.